I'll admit it - I spent money on myself today, and the DH and I spent money on ourselves yesterday and today. What did we buy?

Well, I signed back up for "How to Think Sideways - Career Survival School for Writers"

Finishing HtTS is/was on my 101 things list, and I really did enjoy every moment of it. Unfortunately, it was one of those things I had to put on the back burner when our finances no longer allowed it, and I have to start over from the beginning. The good news is that I NEEDED to start over from the beginning (although starting over at the year long pace is pretty depressing) and am all set to jump into NaNoWrimo with an idea hopefully birthed from revisiting the first few HtTS lessons. We shall see.

And the "we" purchases were for our health - a copy of Wii Fit Plus (just came out Sun. and worth the upgrade for Wii Fit players), and a one month "trial" gym membership. We're going to go check everything out tonight, and I'm terrified. I'm afraid of what other people will think of me, of not knowing my way around, of making an idiot of myself in front of all the people who work out regularly; you name it, I'm afraid of it.

But you know what? I'm going anyway, and I know it's not going to be as bad as I'm making it out to be. How will I ever get in shape if I'm too afraid to step foot in the gym? The rest of the world is not nearly as interested in me as I seem to think they are; I doubt if anyone will even notice I'm there, or think twice about it. They've all got there own lives to worry about - who has time to spend thinking about the new whale at the gym? Even if there was someone out there who needed to get a life THAT badly, what do I care? I shouldn't, but I do...one of those many nasty habits I'm going to have to learn to break. I have spent the greater part of my life building up the illusion that I don't care what the rest of the world thinks about me...it's time to start tricking myself into believing it, too.

The inspiration for my little personal pep-talk came from none other than Holly Lisle, and is a part of the very first lesson of HtTS. In fact, it was going back over that lesson which prompted me to bite the bullet and get the membership, and the same reminder of "SAFE never starts" is going to be my mantra tonight as I go out and conquer my fear of the gym. I CAN do this, and I will, too.

If you're interested in How to Think Sideways - Career Survival School for Writers, then check out the website, here. But do it quickly; Holly will be temporarily closing sign-ups as of noon est on Friday, and they won't reopen until sometime next year.

And now, to prove to myself that I really have been paying attention to the four writing blocks, and trying to route them out of my own life, I'm going to publish this post without any self-editing whatsoever. Take that, perfectionism!!!!